American Apparel Artist: Ok Dov, I finished the drawing for the back entrance of the store in Burbank.
Dov Charney (CEO American Apparel): Fucking hamburger in my mouth!
Dov shoves an entire burger in his mouth.
Artist: Sooo does that mean you like it?
Dov: I wanna sharkfuck!
Artist: Uh huh, sure. So I used our usual line drawing style…
Dov starts doing power squats.
Dov: Let’s swim to Africa!
Artist: Sure thing. First things first, I need you to sign off on this drawing…
Dov stops power squatting and holds his palm up to his face. He snorts something.
Dov: Wooo! I want to stab a man and get away with it!
Artist: (sighs) So I followed your notes as closely as possible.
The artists holds up a dirty In-N-Out napkin that has Dov’s handwriting scrawled on it.
Dov: Let’s watch Wall-E!
Artist: You wrote “Buttless leggings”…
Dov: Yeah! I like how their slut-butts touch!
Artist: Well you did write “Snap slut butts together like Legos.”
Dov: Wanna go on my boat and fuck on a horse?!
Dov starts doing jumping jacks.
Artist: Thank you, but no.
Dov grabs a pair of buttless leggings.
Dov: Put these on.
Artist: No.
Dov: Put these on and we’ll go to Paris right now.
Artist: Dov. Please. Just sign off on this drawing.
Dov starts walking away.
Dov: I’m going to shit in a bucket and put it in a museum.
Artist: Jesus Christ.
Dov: Did you just say my name?
Artist: No.
Dov: Yeah you fucking did.
